El signo de los tiempos
Hoy en dÃa y gracias a Internet uno se puede convertir en lo que le salga de las narices.
Más o menos lo sabÃa pero el correo que recibà hoy me sorprendió, algo que no es sencillo. Me ofrecÃan la posibilidad de ser ordenada ministra (sacerdotisa… lo que sea) de una iglesia X en 48 horas. Creà estar viviendo en la casa de la pradera y ver aproximarse una carreta con un sucio predicador gritando hacia mÃ:
Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!
BE ORDAINED NOW!
As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!
WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!
Don’t settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES’ MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don’t settle for a minister you don’t know!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.
BAPTISMS
You can say «WELCOME TO THE WORLD! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!»
What a special way to welcome a child of God.
FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!
VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock
WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!
At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let’s talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I’d say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn’t you agree? However, it won’t cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.
Since I know how much you want to help others, you’re going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00… Not even $50.00… You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.
For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate in color, with gold seal
(Certificate professionally printed by an ink press)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in your name
3. Shipping is free
No me voy a poner a traducir todo el mensaje pero, en resumen la cosa dice asÃ:
¡¡Ordénese ahora!! No se resigne a ser simplemente el padrino, case usted a su hermano, su hermana o su mejor amigo. Puede bautizar (Bienvenido al mundo, soy tu ministro y tu tÃo), visitar encarcelados, confesar y perdonar los pecados. ¿Quiere comenzar su propia iglesia? No hay problema, una vez ordenado, puede crear su propia congregación, etc, etc.
Además te envÃan un certificado de 8×10 pulgadas con tu ordenación y letras doradas todo por 29, 95 dólares, envÃo sin cargo.
Me niego a poner el enlace en el que se puede pagar con cargo a la tar-jeta de crédito.
DÃganme si esto no les recuerda a los famosos vendedores de pociones mágicas del Oeste, a lo que en inglés se llama snake-oil vendor. Encantador.
